I'd wanted to go to sleep at least half an hour ago, so I'm tired.
But I'm too tired. That fatigue does not really physical, he can not let you sleep.
I'm sitting on my couch, alone and look around as I write. I look at the pictures, the mirror, the turntable. I think I should buy a better turntable. So I have to change the sheets to the bed, I'll do tomorrow. Things change with frightening speed. Not at all prepared, but it happens. They are tattooed with symbols of continuity and change. I have a spiral and a Celtic knot, a reminder that you are born again and that is strong, I have lotus flowers that bloom from faded, I recall how life works. Yet I always wonder how much of my brain, put in the safe very often, it is preserved from falling apart in front of my nervous system changes that decentralization is not tolerated at all.
And so yes, I have a safe in the brain.
We've got it all, I suppose.
In this case, my, I'm walking slowly in front of new situations, it makes me look cool and uninterested. Detached. It makes me think I'd better wait to be sure that any little thing, sometimes I would have control of everything.
But we can not control anything or anyone.
Can we trust only ourselves, and no one else.
We can hope, but hope is useless, leaving you in limbo and does not make you better.
We just wanted to try to understand what, we need to fix, smooth, highlight, determine.
We breathe every first sign of imbalance, reasoning that depends only on us, and listen again at ease, even when standing up.
"... I like you, and you can like a person if she did not like it. The only people that I'm worried I do not like are those that because they hate so much that they do not allow anyone to love them. "
(Sarah Kane - Psychosis 4:48)
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